Monday Flash: Gotta Have Faith

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What a great photo for this week’s edition of Monday Flash Fiction! Avery was very excited to see where her story would go. Not trying to spoil anything, but she decided to skip the sad ending. *thank goodness*

Feel free to check out the group’s Facebook page here.

The stories are to be no more than 500 words (shh, this one’s a bit over), and are to be based on the picture prompt.

I hope that you enjoy this week’s story!

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Gotta Have Faith

by
Avery Dawes

Blinding headlights pierced the night and time slowed to a crawl as the monster truck crossed the centerline and slammed into us. The seat belt bit into my torso as glass shards pierced my skin. The car spun, bouncing me around the interior like a rag doll.

Once we came to rest, I fought for equilibrium. I have to reach Matty.  The vague sound of sirens wailed in the distance. Pain radiated in countless waves. If only I could move… The darkness beckoned, and I gladly—willingly—succumbed.

My subconscious awakened, and disappointment coursed through me. Wasn’t my life supposed to flash before my eyes? What was wrong with me? I’d been so focused on Matty, the love of my life. We were nothing without each other. He was truly my other half—no way could I go on without him.

“Colby, come find me!” The sweetest voice called out to me. I could have cried—in fact, I probably was crying. Matty must have survived the crash.

It took me a moment or two…I concentrated on his words, trying to determine where they’d originated. However, frustration swamped me. My head was in some kind of fog, and I couldn’t tell right from left, up from down. “Matty, tell me how to reach you!” I couldn’t risk losing him. Please, please don’t leave me, I begged. I need you in my arms. Now.

“Silly, the path lays before you,” he teased. His voice filled my heart with warmth.

I found myself standing on a sandy beach. Dark blue water stretched to the horizon. What was he talking about?

Duh! As I looked more closely, the path couldn’t have been clearer. Wooden logs lined the sand, then continued across the ocean floor like pylons, creating a walkway to the dipping sun. The rising tide never obscured them from my view. It reminded me of the Bible story from my youth…Moses parting the Red Sea.

I resolved to have faith. I had to believe that these logs—this wooden path of sorts—would lead me to my Matty.

I chuckled and dug my toe into the cool sand. I’d always complained our lives were too dull, said we needed an adventure. Growing up, I’d drooled over Harrison Ford and longed to be Indiana Jones. Maybe this was my chance…

Voices—some forceful, others pleading—broke through my reverie. If I concentrated, I could make out some of the words…”fight” and “don’t leave” and “stay.” Who were these people? Didn’t they know my life was with Matty?

I pushed them out of my head. Now or never. With my partner as my sole focus, I decided to make the journey. To go wherever this path might lead.

I walked to the water’s edge, bathing my toes in its wet warmth. After giving myself a mental pep talk, I stepped onto the nearest log. I feared that it might be slippery, or even jagged, but the surface was smooth against my feet.

“That’s it, Colby. Come to me, sweetheart.”

His voice. It filled me with hope and courage. It gave me the strength to take the next step, and the one after that. Look at me—I could do this, I was doing this. Faith filled me. I had no doubt I would conquer this challenge, and end up with my Matty. Wherever he might be.

the end

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2 thoughts on “Monday Flash: Gotta Have Faith

Add yours

  1. Hello!
    It’s a pretty sweet flash fic though there is much room for improvement. I liked this story because it had potential and I admit I did want to see what happened to the couple in the end. I liked end wherein you didn’t give the readers a definite they lived or they died. And I definitely appreciate that this story is readable with an easy flow and good grammar. I have encountered a number of short stories that that fail in one or both. XP

    Now, for my comment, it would have been nicer in my opinion if you left out the part that told your readers about the car crash and dropped us straight into Colby finding his way back to Matty. It would have given us a sense of confusion and struggle that can help us relate to Colby better. You could then reveal bits and pieces of the accident and let the readers draw the fact from there (the show, not tell principle). Lastly, to be honest, this came off to me as a typical gooey love story. It was sweet, but there was no impact. When it comes to writing shorts, impact in a few number of words is what you’re after. I’m not saying I’m a master writer or anything like that, but I have read a good number of stories, so I can safely say there is room for improvement in this one. 🙂

    And that’s all from me. I think you’ve got what it takes to become a great writer so keep on practicing and writing your flash fics!

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